


I'm Not Okay

by Rionaa



Series: I'm Not Okay - verse [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Frank is adorable, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More angst, Peterick (mentioned), Schmoop, angsty angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 11,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rionaa/pseuds/Rionaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took Frank an alarmingly long time to notice. The way Gerard seemed to draw away from his kisses, the way he seemed listless and uninterested. The way he was more self conscious around his boyfriend. The way he hardly ever left the house and how the soft tones of his voice hardly ever sounded through their home.</p><p>What he did notice were the large purple bruises across his boyfriend's stomach and chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Andrexala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrexala/gifts), [Mojjy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mojjy2/gifts).



It took Frank an alarmingly long time to notice. The way Gerard seemed to draw away from his kisses, the way he seemed listless and uninterested. The way he was more self conscious around his boyfriend. The way he hardly ever left the house and how the soft tones of his voice hardly ever sounded through their home.

What he did notice were the large purple bruises across his boyfriend's stomach and chest.

 

"Hey, Gee, I just realised I left my-" Frank froze on the threshold of the bathroom. Gerard whipped behind the shower curtain, but not before Frank had seen the rose like marks on his pale skin. Frank's face fell. 

"Gee?" He pulled back the curtain and found his boyfriend pressed into the corner of the shower, water still running through his red hair. Frank reached to turn off the tap then stared at the man he loved before him, lost for words.

Finally, he spoke. "Who did this to you?" He asked, barely keeping the anger from his voice.

"I... Uh... I fell down the stairs! It was an accident!" Gerard wasn't quite meeting his eyes. Frank wasn't buying it. 

"And this is why you've been acting oddly lately?" He thought back and tried to remember when Gerard had started behaving differently. With a shock he realised that he couldn't remember. "Has... Has this been going on for a long time?" He felt awful. How could he not have noticed this? He reached out for the taller man, pulled him out of the shower and into a gentle hug. He knew his clothes were getting soaked but he didn't care. 

To his horror, he realised that Gerard was crying onto his shoulder. "Hey, Gee, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" He peered anxiously up into the red framed face. 

Gerard shook his head. "No, I just..." He shuddered as a sob racked his body and winced. "I dont want you to ever let me go." 

"I won't, okay? I'm here now, I'm not going to let you go." After I've found whoever did this to you beaten the crap out of them, he added mentally, gritting his teeth angrily. Unconsciously he tightened his grip on the man in his arms until he heard a sharp intake of breath. He looked up to see a grimace on Gerard's face.

"Crapcrapcrap shit I'm so sorry..." He muttered, backing away. Gerard shook his head, but didn't say anything. Seeing the bruises again, Frank felt vaguely sick. "Shit, Gee, you need a hospital..." He murmured. 

Gerard looked alarmed. "No! I mean, no, can't you do it?"

"You could have internal bleeding or something! Do you have any broken ribs? Please, you need to see a doctor."

"No." Gerard could be stubborn when he wanted to be. He sat down on the edge of the bath. Frank sighed and walked over to the medicine cabinet on the bathroom wall. He searched through bottles of pills and syrups and tubs of ointment, trying to work out what he needed. He found only two paracetamol tablets in unpopped capsules. He handed them to Gerard, who swallowed them dry. He realised that his boyfriend must have been taking painkillers from the cupboard for weeks, because there was no paracetamol and no ibuprofen to be found. It just made him feel worse. He must have been blind not to see it! 

He picked a tub of cream off the shelf and read the label. He carried it over to Gerard and began to spread it carefully over the abrasions on his skin. Gerard moaned and squirmed a little at first but soon he began to relax into Frank's touch. At last, Frank stood up from the ground where he had been kneeling and took a roll of bandages from the shelf.

"Uh, is that really necessary?" Gerard asked, grinning. Frank nodded.

"If you have bruised or cracked ribs it'll support you better and make you more comfortable." Gerard shrugged casually then winced. Frank made him stand up and pur his arms out to the sides so he could wrap the bandages around his boyfriend's ribs. He tied it off and then asked "how long ago did this happen?"

Gerard's eyes shifted to the floor. "Uh... Not too long ago... I mean its not the first time..."

"Well, when was the last time?"

"Uh... The day before yesterday..." Frank nodded and crossed to the airing cupboard. Gerard watched as he pulled out a hot water bottle and stuck it under the hot tap. When it was full, Frank handed it to Gerard, then turned to leave the bathroom.

"Wait!" Gerard was holding the hot water bottle to his side, already feeling relief as the best seeped into him. Frank looked back at him. "Thank you..." 

Frank smiled. "You should have told me sooner, Gee..."

"I... I was scared..."

Frank frowned. "Scared of what?"

"Scared that you'd think I was weak." The words seemed to tumble out of Gerard's mouth, perhaps too fast, but Frank stared at him, lost for words.

"I dont think you're weak, Gee." He said, crossing the room to stand before the broken man. "And even if you were, it wouldn't make me love you any less."

This time, for the first time in a while, Gerard initiated the kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on, Gee, come out! I need to pee!" Frank was standing outside the bathroom two days after he had discovered Gerard's bruising. 

"Yeah, just a minute!" 

Frank frowned. "What are you doing in there?" He called.

"Uh, just finished!" There was the sound of a toilet flushing, then taps running, then Gerard opened the door.

"Tha-" Frank broke off as Gerard pushed past him. "Hey, Gee?" He reached out to pull the taller mam round by the arm, but he pulled away. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Gerard muttered, trying to walk away.

Frank sighed. "Gee..." 

"I'm fine!" Gerard tried to pull his hand away but Frank was holding tight to it, staring at his knuckles. They were bruised and swollen, and they definitely had not been yesterday. He looked up to see Gerard looking down at him, his face unreadable.

He reached up to brush Gerard's face with his thumb, and was startled when the older man flinched, pulling his face away from Frank's touch. He looked down at his own thumb, surprised to see it coated with white. Gerard had involuntarily raised a hand to his eye.

"Gerard, what's wrong with your face?" Gerard blinked with his uncovered eye, shocked by either the use of his full name or the unusually sharp tone of Frank's voice.

"I, um..." He looked down at his boyfriend helplessly. Frank took him by the hand and dragged him back into the bathroom. He found Gerard's makeup wipes and gently removed the makeup from his face revealing a brilliantly flourishing black eye and a bruised cheek.

"Oh, Gee..." He said, sadly, shaking his head. "Please tell me who's doing this to you!"

"No, I, I can't..."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Gerard stalled. He couldn't tell Frank the truth. 

"Because..." Frank prompted.

"Because I dont know who it is." Lied Gerard.

"How can you not know who it is? They've been doing this to you for weeks!" Frank was practically shouting. Gerard cowered away, cringing. Frank gasped, tears springing to his eyes. "Gee, I'm sorry..." He wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist. Gerard hesitated before sighing and leaning into his boyfriend gratefully.

 

Frank squeezed Gerard tightly, until the other man gasped in pain. Instantly, Frank released him, looking worried.

"Sorry..." Gerard shook his head.

"No, it's... It's fine..."

"No, its not. Let me see." Meekly, Gerard pulled his top over his head, revealing the bandages Frank had tied around him two days ago. 

Gently, Frank reached out and untied the bandage, then began to unwind it from Gerard's torso, revealing the bruises beneath. 

Once Gerard was left bare chested, Frank stood back and examined him. There were more bruises than before, though the bandages had prevented the skin from being broken this time. 

Frank resisted the urge to wrap his boyfriend in a hug and never let him go. "Gee..."

"No." 

Frank looked up into Gerard's face helplessly, then nodded, accepting Gerard's decision not to tell him. He hoped he would find out someday. For now he would bandage his broken boyfriend and try to fix him as best he could.


	3. Chapter 3

Gerard moaned in his sleep. Frank looked over at his sleeping boyfriend, worried. He'd noticed (finally) that Gerard was having troubled sleep nearly every night. Especially the nights after he came home with new bruises. He was unsure whether or not he should wake him up, when suddenly, Gerard sat bolt upright in bed. 

"Frank?!" He looked around wildly.

"Hey, hey, Gee, I'm right here..." Frank said soothingly, reaching out to touch his arm. To his surprise, Gerard flung himself at Frank, burying his head in his shoulder, sobs shaking his body.

"Gee, it's okay... You're okay..." Frank was bewildered, but tried to be soothing nonetheless. To his consternation, he felt Gerard shake his head.

"No... No, but you are..." Gerard seemed to relax after that. He fell asleep again soon after, and although it took Frank much longer to get to sleep, he knew the man in his arms was having less troubled sleep.

The next day, Frank tried to ask Gerard about what had happened, but the other man seemed either unwilling or unable to remember. 

For almost a week, Gerard remained free of new injuries. The bruises on his chest and face faded, and he seemed to grow more confident again. Frank began to be hopeful that it was finally over.

Then, one day when Gerard had gone down to the grocery store, there was a knock at the door. Frank frowned. The post had already been delivered, but he went to answer it anyway.

"Are you Frank Iero?" He nodded.

"Um, do I know you?"

"Not yet, but I'm sure you will soon!" The man leered menacingly and it was all Frank could do not to slam the door in his face.

"Uhh..." 

The man reached forward, beckoning to Frank to follow. He realised he had no choice but to do so. The strange man led him away from the house, down the street and into a narrow alleyway. Frank's hands were in his pockets, frantically searching for anything he could use as a weapon. Nothing presented itself to him, and rather desperately, he realised he had left his phone at home as well.

Suddenly, a red blur came between them.

"YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM! YOU PROMISED ME!" 

Frank backed up against a wall in amazement as Gerard practically flew at his would-be attacker. He watched as his boyfriend laid punch after punch on the man, all the while screaming insults and curses. 

After a while, however, Gerard began to tire and the larger man, who was evidently stronger and a more practised fighter, knocked him to the ground or doubled him over with a punch to the stomach. 

Suddenly, Frank realised the man would likely kill Gerard unless he he did something. Grabbing a piece of broken copper pipe up from the ground, he leapt at the man, landing on his back and pressing the pipe to his windpipe. The man gagged and reeled backwards, away from Gerard, who was lying on the ground.

Frank hadn't really had a plan past this point. Their attacker stumbled backwards and crashed into the wall behind him, as though attempting to squash Frank.

Frank gasped but didn't let go of either end of the pipe he was holding. What he could see, but apparently the man currently crushing him against the wall of a building could not, was that Gerard was on his feet, carrying what looked like part of a doorframe. 

Frank dug his knee into the mans side to distract him, then tried to shift his weight quickly as he was crushed a little harder against the hard brick wall. 

Then Gerard brought his piece of wood down on the man's head and he crumpled to the ground. Frank fell on top of him, coughing.

"Hey, Frankie, you okay?" Frank rolled over and saw Gerard's concerned face peering down at him. He nodded and got to his feet.

"What about you? Are you okay?" He looked at the older man. The bright red of his hair was spread across his face as blood tripped from the end of his nose and down the side of his face from a cut above his eyebrow. 

Gerard shrugged. "I've been worse."

Frank snorted. "Been worse? Gee, he would've killed you!" The moment he said it, Frank's heart seemed to drop down past his stomach. He felt his bottom lip begin to tremble and the next thing he knew he was in Gerard's arms.

"He didn't, though, because you were there..." Murmured Gerard.

"He wouldn't have hurt you at all if it weren't for me!" Frank froze at that moment. "Is it him who's been beating you up all these weeks?" Gerard looked away. "Why? Why does he do it?"

In a very small voice, Gerard said "Because if I didn't let him, he'd hurt you..." Frank looked up at the man who's arms were wrapped so tightly around him and felt a lump form in his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd tell me to let him!" Frank had nothing to say to that. It was quite true. The idea of Gerard letting himself get beaten up two or three times a week to keep Frank safe made his heart ache. Finally he spoke.

"Were the fact that you've been uninjured for a week and his visit today connected?"

Slowly, Gerard nodded. "I... I'm really sorry. I got too used to having you and not hurting all the time. I just... I walked away and I guess he took that as... I'm so sorry!" He squeezed Frank even tighter.

"Gerard, it's okay, I'd rather he should hurt me than you! Please, you dont deserve this!" He got the feeling that the man on his shoulder was not really listening. As Gerard sobbed himself into silence, the unconscious man on the ground stirred.

"We should call an ambulance." Frank said.

"What, for him?" Gerard spat the word out with disgust.

"No, for you." Gerard looked alarmed. "Come on, just look at you! You can barely stand! You're worse that you have been since... Well ever, and I dont think I can fix it this time." At last, Gerard nodded and handed Frank his phone.


	4. Chapter 4

In the hospital, Frank and Gerard were seen by different doctors. Frank was prescribed some painkillers for bruised ribs and then released. He sat in the waiting area for Gerard for at least an hour, more and more horrible images rising to the surface of his brain. Perhaps Gerard had some injury that required surgery! Perhaps he had some internal bleeding, maybe from an old injury that Frank had missed. Maybe he was dying! Maybe he was d-

"Frank!" He looked up in relief at the sound of Gerard's voice. The stitches and dressings on his boyfriend's face made his injuries appear even worse. Frank stood up and crossed the room to stand before him.

"What took so long? I was worried!" 

Gerard looked down, embarrassed. "They, um, they wanted me to talk to the police," Frank nodded encouragingly, " about you... "

"Me?" Frank was confused.

"They thought you did this to me."

Frank felt ashamed, although he had done nothing. "I wouldn't... I'd never..."

"I know that, Frankie, but apparently the first suspect is always the partner..." 

Frank gasped and shook his head, fiercely. Gerard smiled and pulled the younger man into a hug. "Come on, let's go home."

On the way home, Gerard explained his injuries to Frank. Two cracked ribs and severe bruising didn't sound like nothing to Frank, but Gerard spoke about them almost lightly.

Finally, Frank asked the question he had been desperate to know the answer to. "So are you safe now?" Gerard hesitated. "Gee?" Frank prompted.

"Well, he wasn't the only one... He was probably the worst!" He clarified as Frank looked shocked. "But there were more of them, yes..."

"And that's why you didn't want to go to the police before?"

Gerard nodded. "Because I knew there would be more of the same."

Frank buried his face in his hands at the hopelessness of it. "What can we do?"

"Well, if they know we took him down they might think twice about trying again..."

Frank nodded. Any hope was better than feeling so helpless.

"This it?" The taxi driver asked. Frank nodded and paid the man.

When they got into the house, Gerard sank onto the couch with a groan almost immediately. "Can I just sleep here..." He whined.

"No, you'll feel sore afterward." Frank looked at the clock. It was only nine but it felt like much later. When he looked back at Gerard, he was already asleep. Chuckling softly, Frank knelt beside his boyfriend and gently shook his shoulder. "Come on Gee, you can't sleep here..." Gerard mumbled something incomprehensible and turned his face away. 

Frank sighed and slipped his arms under Gerard's knees and shoulders. The younger man, though smaller, was surprisingly strong, and Gerard's thin frame weighed practically nothing. 

Gerard wrapped his arms around around Frank's neck as he carried him, bridal style, and laid him, fully clothed onto their bed. Frank climbed in beside him and fell asleep almost instantly, their arms still around each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Gerard awoke the next morning to find Frank's side of the bed empty. He sat up and stretched gingerly, ignoring the protests of his sore muscles and chest. He got to his feet and made his way downstairs, where he found Frank in the kitchen making coffee.

"Hey." He came up behind Frank and wrapped him arms around his boyfriend from behind.

"Hey!" Frank looked up, smiling at this affectionate gesture that he had so missed. "How are you feeling?"

"Not great," admitted Gerard, "but so much better for seeing you." He grinned down at Frank, who laughed.

"Well you should be practically ecstatic because I made you coffee." He handed a mug to Gerard along with the tablets he'd been prescribed by the doctor. 

"Thanky Frankie." Said Gerard, taking them, then giggled. Frank chuckled and turned away to pick up his own mug.

 

Gerard was closer than usual to Frank over the next few weeks. He followed him everywhere, refusing to leave the house without him, not that Frank would have allowed him to do so anyway. He seemed happier, but still had trouble sleeping. Frank woke up five nights in a row to find him boyfriend crying out for him in his sleep. Each time he shook Gerard awake and held him until he calmed down.

Gradually, life began to settle down to normal, as their injuries healed and Gerard's confidence returned. He began to write again, and Frank would hear him singing from various rooms in the house as he tried lyrics and melodies. He smiled each time, as he knew it meant, just maybe, that things were getting better.


	6. Chapter 6

It didn't.

Just over a month after their attack, Frank noticed Gerard beginning to draw away again. Maybe it was because he was watching for it, or maybe it was simply a return to their normal relationship and he was just becoming used to their new closeness, but Gerard was once again behaving differently towards him.

Frank tried not to be obvious about it but he checked his boyfriend's body each day for new injuries, terrified that he would be once again placing himself in between Frank and harm's way. 

"Frank, will you cut it out?" Gerard snapped irritably when he caught Frank watching him from the doorway as he pulled off his shirt.

"Sorry..."

"I'm fine, Frank, I'd tell you if I... If something happened."

"Really? Would you really? Because you didn't last time."

"Yeah, well, last time was different. Now... I dont know. Its just different." 

Frank nodded and left, closing the door behind him, feeling satisfied at least that Gerard was unhurt, less so in what he had just said.

Ten minutes later, Gerard walked into the kitchen where Frank was leaning against the sideboard, glaring moodily at the floor.

"I'm sorry." Frank looked up in surprise.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"No, you should. I know you're worried about me, and I shouldn't have snapped at you. I really am okay though. You can check if you like." He lifted his T-shirt on one side revealing smooth, white skin, unmarred by bruises or cuts.

Frank nodded silently and looked down at the floor again, swallowing. Then he looked up, sharply. Crossing the room, he seized the bottom of Gerard's top and pulled it over his head.

"Hey, I just put that on..." Gerard protested weakly. But Frank was staring at his ribs, the way they stuck out, almost creating shadows between them.

"Gee..."

"What? I'm not hurt!"

"No, but... Oh, Gee..."

"What?"

"Have you been eating?" Frank asked quietly.

"Yes! You've seen me!"

"So... Have you been making yourself sick?"

"I..."

"Oh, God..." Gerard's shirt fell from Franks fingers as he gazed up into the face of his boyfriend, who was looking down at him with desperation in his eyes. "Why, Gee? Why?"

"I... I dont know... I think, in a way, it's for you..."

"For ME? Why the hell would you think I'd want something like this?" Frank pushed past Gerard before he really knew what he was doing. 

He ran up the stairs and slammed and locked the bathroom door behind him before leaning against it, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor shaking, his head in his hands, sobs escaping him. 

Gerard was starving himself for Frank... How did that even make sense? He supposed things like that didn't always make sense anyway. 

Still shaking, he pushed himself to his feet and walked over to the medicine cabinet. Pulling out the painkillers from the hospital he shook a few onto his palm and swallowed them dry. 

Vaguely, he heard the front door slam in the distance before the world faded to black and he collapsed on the bathroom floor.


	7. Chapter 7

Gerard heard Frank run up the stairs and stood in the kitchen, numb with shock. He heard the bathroom door slam and stared at the ground, tears pricking the back of his eyes. He bent down and picked his shirt up off the floor. Pulling it over his head, he ran to the front door, opened it and sprinted away from the house, following his feet while his mind raced.

 

Frank awoke to the shrill sound of a doorbell ringing. He wished it would stop, his head was hurting like crazy.

"Can you get it, Gee..." He murmured, rolling over to find his boyfriend lying beside him but finding... The cold lino of the bathroom floor. 

Suddenly, he sat up, remembering what had happened.

The doorbell continued to sound in one continuous peal. Frank groaned as he got to his feet, the whole world seeming to spin around him. He leaned against the sink and was violently sick. He stood for almost a minute, blinking and trying to steady himself enough to walk downstairs. The constant ringing of the doorbell wasn't helping matters.

At last, he collected himself enough to open the door and walk to the front door. 

What he saw when he opened it nearly made him throw up again.

Gerard was half standing, leaning against the doorframe, holding one finger to the doorbell, his eyes closed in pain, new wounds and bruises evident on his face, hands and through his shirt.

When Frank opened the door, Gerard fell forward. Frank caught him quickly.

"Oh God, oh God..." He pulled Gerard's arm over his shoulder and he stepped over the threshold before crying out in pain.

"Lean on me, come on, we'll take you to the sofa..." Frank said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

Gerard made it a few steps before he gave up trying to move under his own steam and he collapsed against Frank.

Frank dragged Gerard to the couch, where he lay motionless, faint noises of pain escaping him, but otherwise silent and still.

Frank grabbed the phone and typed in three numbers, trying to keep his hands from shaking.

"Hello? I need an ambulance..."

The ambulance seemed to take forever to arrive. Frank wasn't sure, as Gerard was so still and pale, but he thought he lost consciousness at one point. 

Frank knelt by his head, trying and failing to keep the tears from falling.

When at last the paramedics arrived, they said Frank would have to make his own way to the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

Frank followed the ambulance in the car, not really noticing the speed dial, but racing behind the ambulance, panic rising inside him. The man he loved was inside the vehicle in front of him, he could be dying.

He pulled into a parking space and ran as fast as he could to catch up with the paramedics who were bringing Gerard into the hospital on a stretcher. His boyfriends face, though normally pale was now a deathly white, the blood on his face matching the red of his hair. Frank hurried alongside the stretcher as it was wheeled through a pair or swinging doors.

"I'm sorry, you can't go in there." A nurse grabbed his shoulder.

"But he's my boyfriend!" Frank almost screamed at her.

"I'm sorry. Would you like to come to the waiting area?" He shook his head but followed her anyway.

Frank took a seat on one of the hard plastic chairs, and felt pressure rising inside him. He felt ready to scream or pass out again, but instead sat, staring at the wall. 

After what felt like ten hours but was really closer to two, a doctor wearing bloodied scrubs came and stood before him.

"Are you here with Mr Way?" He nodded, swallowing, feeling as though he might faint. Was that Gerard's blood? So much blood... 

Finally, he managed to speak. "Is he-" he meant to say 'okay', but the word that came out of his mouth was "alive." 

The doctor's face was unreadable. "He's-" she hesitated. Frank stood up slowly, hardly daring to breathe. "He's alive."

Frank swayed as lights seemed to burst before his eyes. "You... You sound unsure..."

"Well, he did have some pretty severe internal bleeding, but we've fixed it now so he's out of the danger zone." She put a hand on his shoulder, frowning. "Are you alright?" He blinked at her, confused, then collapsed, falling sideways as the room around him faded.

When Frank opened his eyes the first thing he noticed was the white. Everything was white. The ceiling, the walls, the sheets he was lying beneath. 

He looked down at his left hand and saw a tube leading from it to a hanging bag of fluid above his head. It itched. He tried to scratch it with his other hand but was met with resistance. He looked down in surprise and saw a pair of handcuffs attaching him to the bed rail. He tugged experimentally. A tall police officer in the corner turned.

"It won't come off if you pull it." Frank shrank back into his bed.

A nurse pushed open the door. "Could you give us a moment?" She asked. The officer gave Frank a disgusted look before stalking out of the room.

"Frank..." The nurse began.

"How's Gerard?" Frank interrupted her.

"I'm afraid I am unable to give you confidential patient information on Mr Way."

"But he's my boyfriend! Please! Just tell me he's okay!"

"I'm sorry, I can't. As you are not a family member, I can't tell you. And even if you were..." She broke off, giving him a similar look as the one he had received from the police officer.

Frank stared at her. "You think I did that to him?"

"Well we have no witnesses but Mr Way and we are unable to extract a statement from him at the moment."

"Why? Why not? He's alive? Is he unconscious?"

The nurse sighed. "You passed out in the waiting room. We have carried out blood tests and have found high levels of this," she held up a packet of the same tablets Frank had had before, "in your blood stream. Can you explain that?"

Frank nodded. "I... I took the rest of my prescription earlier... Maybe five tablets, maybe ten... I dont know..." 

"I see. And can you tell me why you did that?"

"It was because... Because..." He shuddered. "Because I found out that Gerard had been starving himself..."

"Okay." The nurse scribbled something on a clipboard.

"I'm going to need to take some more bloods to see if we've got the drugs out of your system." She stuck a needle in his arm. Frank stared straight ahead, determined not to flinch.

A few minutes later, a different nurse entered, carrying a piece of paper.

"Your tox screen showed up clear so uh... You're free to go... Well..."

The police officer pulled a key from a ring on his belt, unlocked the cuff attaching Frank to the bed and hauled him unceremoniously to his feet.

Frank stared desperately at the nurse as his hands were cuffed together, but the nurse was staring resolutely at the paper in his hands. 

The police officer marched him away down the hall. Frank stared around, desperate for someone to help, but faces turned away, looks of loathing and disgust evident upon them.

As they passed the same swinging doors Frank had not been allowed to enter earlier, he could have sworn he saw untidy mop of bright red hair.


	9. Chapter 9

At the police station, photographs were taken of Frank's face and profile, and his fingerprint was scanned. Then he was taken for questioning by a different police officer. This one seemed to be a little softer, for which Frank was glad.

"Interview with Frank Iero commencing four fifteen AM." He pressed the button on the recorder and a red light came on.

"You were brought in for questioning concerning the attack and serious injury of Gerard Way."

"It wasn't me!"

"This following concerns by medical professionals on an earlier occasion, upon which Mr Way refused to make a statement."

"He's my boyfriend, why would I hurt him?"

"Evidence of older injuries were present on the victim at first presentation. These were not addressed by a medical professional, leading to the conclusions drawn of domestic abuse and neglect."

Frank's eyes stung with tears. "No..."

"What have you to say?"

"I didn't do it! Please, you have to believe me!"

"Do you know who did attack Mr Way?"

"Well not this time, no, but I know who it was last time. He was the guy who was brought in with Gerard last time." The police officer frowned and nodded.

"But you dont know who it was this time?" 

"No, but I bet he would! The other guy, the one I just mentioned."

"There is still the fact that Mr Way's older injuries from attack by Mr Young were not brought to the attention of a doctor."

"No, well Gee didn't want to. I tried to get him to go to the hospital but he refused... I looked after him, I know a little about medicine and stuff."

"Do you know what triggered the attacks on Mr Way and yourself?"

"Well, we're gay..." Stated Frank, bluntly.

"So you're saying this was a hate crime?"

"Well, its the only reason I've really been able to think of..."

"Very well. This concludes your interview. You will be taken to a holding cell overnight or until charged or released. You have one phone call if you wish to use it."

"Yes!" Gasped Frank. The officer nodded and stood up. Frank followed awkwardly with his hands immobilised by the cufflinks.

When he stood in front of the phone, the chain was unlocked. He picked up the receiver and dialed a number.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice on the other end answered after the seventh ring.

"Mikey!"

"Frank? What the fuck are you doing awake? Where are you calling from?"

"The... The police station..."

"Why are you at the police station? Why are you calling me? Go wake Gerard up, he's your boyfriend, not me."

"Um, that's why I'm calling..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Frank drew a deep breath, "Gerard got beaten up by some guys I dont know who, and it was really bad, he's in the hospital, he was dying, Mike! Except they wouldn't let me see him or tell me how he is because I'm not family and they think I did it so they arrested me oh God Mikey, I'm so scared..." Frank hadn't realised he was crying until he felt wet splashes on his arm.

"...Shit." Mikey said, quietly. "Okay, I'm going straight to the hospital now. I'll, uh... I'll try to let you know how he is if I can okay?"

"Okay." Frank gulped, trying to keep the tears away. "Thank you..." The line went dead. 

Dejectedly, Frank replaced the receiver on its cradle and followed the officer to a small holding cell.


	10. Chapter 10

Although he alternated between sitting and lying on the hard pallet that served as a bed, Frank couldn't sleep. Finally after maybe an hour, maybe two, he got to his feet and began pacing around the tiny room.

Every so often the panel in the door would slide open and a pair of eyes would peer through and watch his progress for a while, then it would slide shut again. At one point he was almost sure he heard someone say "he's still at it, Jim."

At seven twenty seven, the slide opened and a voice said "You've got a visitor."

Frank looked up from his pacing to see Mikey standing in the doorway, staring at him.

"Hey, Frank." He said.

"Mikey! Have you been to see Gerard?"

Mikey nodded slowly.

"Well?" Frank asked, desperately.

"He's, uhh. He's alive..."

"Yes?"

"Shit, Frank, he nearly died!"

"I know! I was there..."

Mikey stumbled into the room and sat on Frank's pallet bed. Frank sat down beside him.

"How'd you find him?"

"I, um." Frank looked away. "I was passed out on the bathroom floor. I woke up when I heard the doorbell ringing but it could have been ringing for ages... So I go downstairs and open the door and he was standing there, just leaning on the doorframe, blood everywhere... I called an ambulance but I thought... I thought it might be too late..." He tried to cover his sob with a cough.

"It wasn't too late though, he's alive, and he's going to be okay." 

Frank looked up, sniffling. "Is he? No one's told me anything. I knew he was alive but that's all I know... Please tell me how he is..."

"Okay, well uh... He has two broken ribs and a smashed ankle, cracked cheekbone, uhm... He had a collapsed lung... And some pretty heavy internal bleeding... But he's going to be fine. He's sleeping."

"Just sleeping or..." Frank could hardly think it, let alone speak it.

"Just sleeping." Mikey confirmed.

"So when he wakes up..."

"I bet the first thing out of his mouth will be 'let my boyfriend out of prison you fucking morons'" grinned Mikey. Frank smiled.

"Thank you for telling me."

"I couldn't just not tell you! You possibly care more about my brother than I do myself and that's saying something." Mikey stated.

The slide in the door opened. "You've had your fifteen minutes." Mikey stood up.

"You'll be out of here in no time." He promised. Frank nodded slowly as Mikey left. Once the door was closed he stood up and resumed pacing back and forth.


	11. Chapter 11

Gerard was running. Running fast, the world around him in a haze of tears. He couldn't remember why he was running- perhaps he had always been running. Frank was before him and Gerard ran faster, trying to get to him before it was too late, but he kept moving further away. Suddenly Frank was gone, replaced by a tall, mean looking man in a leather jacket. Gerard turned and tried to run in the other direction, but the man was there as well. The copies of the man began to close in around him. Just as one raised him arm to strike, Gerard opened his eyes, gasping. He looked to his right, searching for Frank's familiar body lying beside him, but there was no one there.

Panicking slightly, he tried to push himself upright, but a hand on his chest prevented him from moving.

"Easy, tiger." A familiar voice spoke.

"M-Mikey?" He looked round and saw his brother standing beside him. "What are you doing here? Where's Frank?"

"Calm down, do you know where you are?"

"No! Where's Frank? They got him, didn't they? Oh God, they got him! Where is he? We need to call 911!"

"Please, calm down, Frank's fine. He's okay."

"Then why isn't he here? He should be here!"

"He's being... Questioned about your attack."

"Can I see him? Please, Mikey, he's in danger..."

"Well, no, not yet, I-" a nurse entered the room at that moment.

"Mr Way?" They both looked up. She smiled.

"Mikey, is it? I need to speak to your brother do a couple of tests, could you give us a minute?" He nodded and walked away.

"Where's Frank?" Asked Gerard immediately.

"Dont worry, he's not here."

"Not here?" 

"He's been taken down to the police station. You can make a statement when you feel able to, there's no hurry."

"Statement?" She nodded. "But... But it wasn't Frank!"

"You dont have to defend him." Her tone was almost sharp.

"I'm not! He didn't hurt me! He'd never..."

She frowned. "I must ask you to calm yourself, Mr Way. I'm going to shine a light into your eyes..." 

Mikey had poked his head through the door again to see what the shouting was about.

"Tell her, Mikey! Frank wouldn't... He didn't..."

The nurse picked up a syringe and injected a clear liquid into the tube running from Gerard's hand. Almost instantly he relaxed and his eyes closed. She stalked from the room, glaring at Mikey as she left.

When Gerard woke again all he felt was anger. He looked up and saw Mikey sitting beside him again.

"Please tell me they released him." Mikey hesitated.

"Well not yet..."

"What the fuck? He didn't do anything? If anything he saved my fucking life!"

"Yeah, well..."

"Is he okay? Does he know I'm okay? They didn't tell him anything last time, if they've actually arrested him..."

"Don't worry, I've been to see him. I told him how you are."

Gerard smiled. "Thank you..."

Mikey shook his head. "Dont thank me. Um... There's a policeman outside, do you want to talk to him?" Gerard nodded and Mikey went to get him.

The officer entered the room carrying a notepad and pencil, ready to write down what Gerard said.

"He didn't do it you fucking idiot." The policeman laid down his pencil.

"You can tell us if you want to, we can make sure he can't contact you at all." Gerard looked at Mikey, panicking.

"Listen to him for fuck's sake, he was perfectly clear on the subject." Growled Mikey.

The officer looked unsure but began to write on his paper. "That's your final statement?" Gerard nodded. "Very well. He will be released from holding." Gerard visibly relaxed as the officer left.

Frank jumped to his feet as the cell door swung open once more, half expecting it to be Mikey again, perhaps bringing bad news. But it wasn't Mikey. It was the policeman who had brought him into the station.

"You've been released." He grunted. He held the door open and watched Frank pass through it. Frank wasn't stopped or questioned on the way out so when he reached the outside door he broke into a run. 

The police station was on the other side of the town to the hospital. It took Frank a long time to make his way there, as he had no money to pay for a taxi or bus and the sleepless night of constant motion had tired out his muscles.

Eventually, he made his way to the reception desk. "I'm here to see Gerard Way, could you tell me-"

"Frank!" He looked up to see Mikey waving to him.

"Uh, never mind." He muttered to the startled receptionist as he hurried over to Mikey.

"He's awake then?" He asked as Mikey led him towards the stairs and began to climb.

Mikey nodded. "How did you know?"

"They released me. I figured he must have told them it wasn't me..." The thought of his arrest made him feel ashamed and guilty, even though he knew he had done nothing wrong.

"He's in here. Um, you should know, he looks-" Frank didn't hear the rest of the sentence. He was already pushing open the doors and running to be beside the man he loved.


	12. Chapter 12

"Frank!" Gerard called as he saw who had entered. The smaller man ran towards him, then skidded to a halt, looking down at him as though unsure of something. "Frankie? What's wrong?"

Frank balled his fists the way he always did when he was upset and shook his head. "Nothing..." He looked so miserable Gerard was about to speak. "Everything. You being here, those idiots who attacked you, the reason they did, the reason you were there in the first place, the fact that I now have a criminal record because some people dont see what's wrong with beating their partners! Its not fair!" He looked ready to cry.

Gerard wasn't sure how to react. He raised his arm and held it out towards Frank, inviting him in for a hug. The other man approached him gratefully and gently draped his arms over Gerard's shoulders, keeping the embrace comforting but painless.

Mikey watched the pair from the other side of the window. He saw how his brother's bruised face lit up as Frank ran into the room. He saw how Frank's desperation turned to strained relief at the sight of Gerard, obviously alive and awake.

Mikey had to admit, he had always been somewhat sceptical of his brothers relationship with Frank. At first it had seemed filled with such passion that everyone, including Gerard, had expected it not to last the year. 

But Frank had stuck. He had stood by Gerard when things were rough, sometimes coming over ever day to see him and make sure he was okay, seeming to be there so often that Mikey and Gerard's mother had apparently accepted him as part of the family.

When Gerard had moved out, it hadn't taken long for Frank to move in. Mikey suspected that Frank had needed it as much as Gerard had. The bruises that Mikey had often seen over the smaller boy before the move had ceased to appear.

Mikey heard a sob from within the room. He looked up in time to see both men wrap each other in a hug and smiled. He had underestimated Frank. There was nothing the man wouldn't do for Mikey's older brother, and he knew the sentiment was returned.


	13. Chapter 13

Over the next two weeks in hospital, Gerard steadily improved. 

Frank remembered one night when he had woken up to a phone call from the hospital saying Gerard had had a seizure, shortly after he had left. He had raced back down to the hospital, but by then Gerard was okay. Frank had resisted strongly each time he was told visiting hours were over after that.

Finally, Gerard was released. When offered a wheelchair he had refused, taking the slower option of crutches because, he said, the ability to walk was something he missed and it showed that he was getting better. 

Now Gerard was back home. Frank was happy that he was alive, and so was Mikey, who visited more often that he did before.

Finally, nearly two months after Gerard was released from hospital, Frank caught Mikey as he let himself in and spoke to him quietly before he went through to see Gerard.

“Mikey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure thing, Frank!” said Mikey, surprised.

“I, um. I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I'm sure I want to do this, but I just don't know what Gerard would say, and I don't want to drive him away... Do you think I should do it?”

“You haven't told me what it is yet.”

“Oh.” Frank blushed. “I want to propose to Gerard.”

Mikey's face split into a wide grin. “Really?”

“You can't tell him!” Frank hissed urgently.

“I won't.” promised Mikey.

“Okay, but what do you think? Do you think it's a good idea? What do you think he'll say?”

“He'll say yes, Frank. I know he will. You should hear the way he talks about you!”

Frank grinned. “Thanks, Mikey.”

“No problem!” Trying to remove the grin from his face, Mikey opened the door and went to see his brother.


	14. Chapter 14

Gerard knew that Frank was behaving a little differently towards him. Hell, even Mikey was treating him strangely. He supposed it was because of his recent injuries. He hated being treated like he was fragile. He hoped that would change soon.

What he hadn't expected was the way in which the change was brought about. 

Gerard walked into the kitchen one morning, fighting a yawn, to find Frank sitting on the sideboard looking nervous. “What's up?” he asked.

“I wanted to talk to you...” Frank began. Gerard's heart began to beat faster. 

“I'm listening...” He said warily. Please, he prayed, don't break up with me!

Frank hopped down to the floor and went to stand in front of Gerard. “We've been together for a long time.” He began.

“Four years...” Murmured Gerard.

“And we've gone through a lot together-”

-You're not wrong.-

“And I've been thinking recently-” 

-Oh god, here it comes.-

“About how much you mean to me.”

-...-

Frank sank onto one knee before him. Gerard's eyes widened as Frank turned his face toward him, full of emotion. 

“Gerard Arthur Way, you make me the happiest man alive. Will you marry me?”

Gerard's mind drew a blank. His brain was screaming at him to say yes, yes, this was what he wanted, but somehow he heard his mouth say “no”.

Frank stood up, hurt and fear now showing on his face. 

Gerard turned and ran out of the kitchen, out of the house.

He didn't really notice where he was running until he realised he was outside Mikey's apartment. He raised his hand to knock, then hesitated. He couldn't face Mikey, couldn't tell him what he had done. He turned to leave, and came face to face with his brother, who was staring at him in shock.

“Gee? What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you...” Gerard stated the obvious numbly.

“Is everything okay? What's happened?” Gerard realised his shoulders were shaking and his face was streaked with tears. Mikey put down the shopping bags he was carrying and pulled his older brother in for a hug.

Once inside the apartment, Mikey sat Gerard down on the sofa and knelt before him. Gerard took a shuddering breath and opened his mouth.

“Frank proposed to me.”

“So why are you here?”

“I said no.”

“You said no? Why?”

“I don't know!” Gerard's face was painful to watch.

“Don't you want to marry Frank?”

“Yes! I do, so much!”

“The tell him that! Go back and find him!”

“I can't! I don't think I can face him. Besides, he might not want to see me.”

“Alright. Okay, but you have to do it. Go back tonight and tell him then.”

“Can't I stay with you tonight? I can tell him in the morning.”

“No, if you put it off til tomorrow it'll make it harder to do it then. You can stay here for the day though if you like, I've got nothing on.”

“Thanks, Mikes.”

“No problem, Gee.” Mikey saw that his brother's bottom lip was trembling again. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around his brother, trying to comfort him, to reassure him that it would be alright.


	15. Chapter 15

Frank stared at the door that Gerard had slammed behind him. He looked down at the ring held in his hand and threw it at the ground. It bounced and rolled away under the table. Then he sank into a chair with his arms on table, laid his head down and cried. 

He had wanted marry Gerard the moment he had first seen him. He remembered the moment they first met. Frank and his boyfriend had been holding hands in the park when a group of boys in senior year from their school had ambushed them. Frank's boyfriend had run away, leaving Frank to defend himself alone against the punches and kicks and jeers from the boys. 

Then Gerard had appeared, his hair then dyed a rich black.

"Leave him alone!" He had shouted. Frank's attackers, startled at being interrupted, scattered, and Gerard had helped Frank to his feet.

"Do you know those boys?" 

Frank had nodded. "They go to my school."

"And that boy who was with you earlier?" 

Frank was startled that this boy had been watching him for that long. "My boyfriend." He said it almost defiantly, as though daring the stranger to laugh or to judge him. Instead, he had merely looked surprised.

"Do you want to come back to mine to get cleaned up a bit?" He had asked, calmly.

Frank swallowed, then nodded. "That'd be nice, uh..."

"Gerard."

"Thank you, Gerard. My name's Frank.

Frank had broken up with his boyfriend the next day.

Thinking back to that day in the park, Frank sat up suddenly. Gerard was out alone, what if he was attacked?

Frank ran outside and looked up and down the street. Gerard had already disappeared. He cursed and ran right.

 

Frank searched all day. First, he looked in the alleyway where he and Gerard had fought the man the policeman had called Mr Young.

He didn't know where Gerard was usually beaten, so he looked everywhere he could think of. The park where they had first met. He ran along streets peering down alleyways for a glimpse of the redhaired man.

At one point he realised he was near the hospital. He went inside and asked if Gerard had been brought in. The woman shook her head. He left his number and told her to call him if he was. She promised to do so.

Frank ran on. He caught sight of the soaring bridge in the distance and felt his heart catch in his mouth. Gerard had once tried to throw himself from bridge until Frank had caught him and pulled him back. What if... Frank pressed his legs to run faster.

Frank made it to the top of the bridge and for the first time in his search was relieved not to see Gerard. Then again, he could already have jumped. Frank leaned against a pillar and turned a tortured face towards the darkening sky before letting out a wail.

A car pulled up beside him and a man stepped out.

"Hey!" He called, nervously.

Frank turned toward the voice and smiled weakly. "I'm not going to jump, don't worry."

The stranger relaxed slightly and nodded. "So, um...?" He gestured hopelessly to the pillar Frank was leaning on.

"I'm looking for a friend." Frank explained hopelessly.

"Oh. What do they look like? I could keep am eye out if you like."

"Um, he has fairly tall, bright red hair, really pale skin, beautiful eyes..." Frank was stunned by this stranger's willingness to help. "And... He's my boyfriend. At least I think he is. I dont know. That's why I'm looking for him. Why do you even care anyway?"

"I drive up and down this bridge every day." Said the man seriously. "I lost someone here and I want to keep husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends, anyone from going through what I did that day."

Frank was speechless. Finally, he managed to say "who did you lose?"

"My boyfriend. Pete. I'll try to find your boyfriend. How should I contact you if I do?"

"Here's my number. Call if you find anything, please..." Frank typed his number into the man's phone. "Can I have yours so I can do the same?"

"Of course." He put his number into Frank's phone and labeled it "Patrick Stump"

Just as Patrick was getting back into his CSR, Frank called out to him. "His name is Gerard!" Patrick raised his arm to show that he had heard and taken the information in, then drove away.

Frank continued running as the sun began to set. He realised he was in his own part of town, but resisted the temptation to return home.

At last, at around eleven o'clock, Frank's legs gave out. Shaking from tiredness and exhaustion, his body heaving with sobs, he collapsed into the middle of the road.

For a minute or so, he simply lay there, curled into a ball, aching all over and sobbing.

He heard a car engine in the distance. The sound grew louder as the car drew nearer. Frank knew that it was approaching him with extreme speed, but he couldn't summon the energy or even the desire to move. 

Frank lay in the road, unmoving as the speeding car raced towards him. As it caught him in it's headlights it didn't slow down. Frank lay there and waited for death.


	16. Chapter 16

At quarter past seven that evening, Mikey said Gerard should go home. Gerard didn't protest the point but left his brother's apartment and began to walk home.

When he arrived, he found that it was empty. "Frank?" He called, frowning. With a gasp, he raced to the bathroom. He knew that Frank had overdosed before when Gerard had walked out. Why hadn't he thought of this before? Pushing open the door, he found that it was empty. With a sigh of relief, he turned and walked to the bedroom. Frank wasn't there either. With a rising panic, he realised that Frank was no where to be found.

Gerard ran to the door and turned right. He had no idea where Frank was but he had to find him.

Unconsciously, he began to retrace Frank's steps, going first to the alleyway where Frank had first met Alex Young. 

Then he began a tour of all the places he had been beaten by Alex and his gang. He knew it was a risk but if there was a chance he'd find Frank somewhere he could take it.

He went to the hospital, and when he asked if Frank had been brought in, the woman at the front desk told him that he hadn't, but he had asked if Gerard had been. So Frank had been out looking for him. He asked when Frank had come in and she told him it was about eight hours ago. So Frank had been searching for Gerard all day. Maybe he was still searching.

He thanked the woman and left the hospital. Standing in front of the building, he scanned the skyline. Seeing the rising curve of the bridge, he gasped and made towards it, but was brought to a halt when a car horn sounded behind him.

He turned and saw a short man with wheat coloured hair and a black fedora getting out of a car.

"Gerard?"

He began to back away. "I don't want any trouble, please..."

"Woah, woah hey I'm not gonna hurt you."

"How do you know my name?"

"Frank was looking for you."

"How do you know Frank? Who are you?"

"I found him on the bridge," the man began. Gerard began to panic. On the bridge? The man obviously noticed his terror as he continued in a firm voice, "but he's okay. He was looking for you. I told him I'd keep an eye out for you." Gerard felt awful. If Frank had gone to the bridge to look for him, maybe he thought... "My name is Patrick." Said the man. "What are you doing outside the hospital?"

"I'm looking for Frank." Muttered Gerard. It was almost funny. "Do you know where he is?"

Patrick shook his head. "I last saw him maybe six hours ago? I dont know. Do you want a lift home or something?"

Gerard shook his head. No, I need to find Frank."

"Alright." Said Patrick. He took out his phone, typed in a number, put it to his ear, then frowned. "I think his phone must be dead."

"He gave you his number?" Gerard felt a surge of jealousy despite his worry.

"So he could call me if he found you. I can delete it if you want me to."

"No... No it's okay, you don't have to."

"Okay." Patrick got back into his car. "I'll keep an eye out for him."

"Thank you!" Patrick drove away.

 

After a few more hours of unfruitful searching, Gerard dejectedly decided to return home and wait for Frank there. He checked his watch. It was almost eleven. Surely Frank would have given up searching for him by now.

Gerard took a shortcut between a couple of houses and stopped dead. Ahead of him, lying in the middle of the road, shaking with sobs, was Frank.

Gerard froze as he stared at the man in the road. Then with a jolt he realised that a car was fast approaching, and it didn't seem to have noticed Frank. Gerard was shocked into motion.

He began to race towards the man on the ground.

He was thirty feet from Frank.

Twenty feet but the car was gaining on him.

"Frankie!" He screamed.

He was ten feet away. He wasn't going to make it.

Five feet. He and the car were equidistant from Frank. He gave a desperate lunge for the man he loved, desperate to at shield him from at least some injury.


	17. Chapter 17

Frank lay on the road, half conscious of the puddle beneath him that was slowly soaking into his clothes. He didn't care.

He felt the car's headlights on him, saw the road beneath him light up.

Then he heard a voice.

It was the voice of an angel, surely. The only voice that Frank wanted to hear. 

Gerard was calling his name. 

Frank raised his head to see that the car approaching was almost upon him. It was too late. He couldn't move in time. He closed his eyes and braced for impact.

But when it came, it wasn't what Frank had expected.

A weight crashed into him from the side, but it was a soft weight. Frank went flying backwards.

He looked up to see Gerard rolling across the road, out of the path of the car which drove on into the night, seemingly oblivious.

"Frank?" Gerard was frantic. He rolled Frank onto his back and leaned over him, staring into his face.

"Gee..." Frank murmured. "You came back..."

"Of course I came back, you..." Gerard didn't seem able to find a word for what Frank was. He continued to gaze down into his face, panic receding and being replaced by something softer.

"Come on, let's go home." 

The last thing Frank felt was being lifted by Gerard. He curled into his chest and wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck, a smile on his lips.


	18. Chapter 18

Gerard carried Frank all the way home. The whole journey he was replaying what had just happened in his mind.

Frank had been awake. He had moved his head, yet he hadn't tried to move out of the path of the car. 

Then he had passed out almost straight away after Gerard had pushed him out of the way. Maybe he hit his head? Maybe he was injured somehow? Or perhaps he was simply exhausted. He had been out looking for Gerard for over twelve hours. Gerard would check him over for injuries when they got home. He picked up his pace.

He had to put Frank on the ground while he unlocked the front door. Frank mumbled some complaints until Gerard picked him up again, chuckling.

Gerard carried Frank upstairs and laid him on the bed. "Frankie..." He murmured, shaking him gently by the shoulder. "Wake up, I need you to change out of your wet clothes." Frank muttered something incomprehensible but sat up sleepily.

Gerard gently pulled Frank's T-shirt over his head, then peeled off his wet skinny jeans with difficulty. A quick sweep with his eyes showed Gerard that Frank uninjured. He breathed a sigh of relief as Frank lay back down in just his underpants and fell back asleep immediately. Gerard pulled the blankets over him, then bent down and retrieved Frank's phone from his jeans pocket. Without really knowing why, he plugged it in and watched as the screen lit up. For a few minutes it showed a charging symbol, then flashed to it's lock screen- a picture of Frank and Gerard making faces at the camera.

Gerard picked it up, typed in the passcode (of course he knew it) then opened contacts. He clicked on the one labeled Patrick Stump. He opened the messages and saw that Patrick had texted Frank three times.

"What's Gerard wearing?"  
"Never mind it wasn't him"  
"I've just seen him. He was looking for you."

There were also four missed calls. On am impulse, Gerard pressed the "return call" button.

Patrick answered on the third ring. "Frank?"

"No it's Gerard." 

"Oh thank God. You found him then?"

"Yeah. Yeah I did."

"Is he alright? Are you alright?"

"He's fine... Can I ask a really huge favour?"

"Okay..."

"Can you come over tonight? I know it's late and we dont know each other but I really need to talk to someone and I can't face my brother and Frank's asleep and I couldn't talk to him about it anyway and I-"

"Of course I'll come. Where do you live?"

Gerard gave Patrick his address and hung up.

In under five minutes a car pulled up outside and there was a knock on the door.

Gerard stood up from the edge of the bed where he was sitting softly stroking Frank's sleeping face and went to let Patrick in.

"Are you okay?" Patrick asked immediately. "You didn't say on the phone."

"I dont know." Admitted Gerard miserably.

"What happened?" Asked Patrick. "Why were you and Frank looking for each other today?"

Gerard led Patrick through to the sitting room and sat down before answering. "This morning, Frank asked me to marry him. For some ridiculous reason that I dont even know, I said no. I've wanted to marry him forever, but I said no. Then I ran out. I went to my brothers house and stayed there for a bit. I went home but Frank wasn't here. Then I went looking for him, and I was out for like four hours. I was on my way home, when I found him, just lying there in the middle of the road. There was a car, and I think he knew it was there, but he didn't move. It was like he didn't even care if he got hit! I nearly didn't get there in time." Gerard closed his eyes to try to stop the tears coming. "I can't lose him. He's never done anything like this! He can't... It's okay if I get hurt but I just dont want anything to hurt Frank..." He realised he was rambling and shut his mouth.

Patrick was watching him intently. Finally, he spoke. "I think he feels the same about you, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"He spent the whole day searching for you. And it wasn't just because he wanted you to come back. He was really worried."

"Yeah well... You say you met him on the bridge... Let's just say that me and the bridge have some history." Gerard muttered.

"Was Frank involved that time?"

"He was the one that kept me from doing it. He pulled me away from the edge and talked to me afterwards."

For some reason, Patrick's face was stricken.

"Why did you even stop for Frank? You didn't know him."

"My boyfriend Pete... He had some history with the bridge too... Except in his case it was more permanent."

Gerard looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Dont be." Gerard looked up again. "Every day I drive to the bridge in case there's someone there..."

"Wow that's..." Gerard swallowed. "Can you tell me about Pete? He must have been pretty special."

Patrick nodded and smiled. "We met at school. We were best friends for ages until we both came out as gay, then we were boyfriends. He was a little taller than me, with black hair, and eyeliner, he had a straightened fringe. He was always wearing band t-shirts."

Gerard gasped. "I think I knew him! He was one of Mikey's friends! Pete Wentz?"

Patrick nodded. "Mikey Way?"

"Yeah, he's my brother. I'm Gerard way."

"I went to your house a couple of times... I can't believe I didn't recognise you..."

"You probably didn't see me to be honest... I was in my room most of the time."

Patrick chuckled.

Patrick and Gerard talked for a long time. It transpired that Patrick and Gerard had been to the same school. They had been to a fair few of the same concerts, shared various friends, and Patrick had visited Gerard's house on multiple occasions.

At two o'clock, Patrick looked at the clock and got to his feet. "I should go home. Thanks for calling. It was good talking to you."

"You too! We should do this again some time."

"Definitely. Give me a call if you ever need to talk to someone yeah?"

Gerard nodded. "Okay. Really, I can't thank you enough."

"Dont mention it. I'm glad I came over. It was good to talk to someone." Patrick left.

Gerard locked the door after him then walked up the stairs.

Removing his shirt, he climbed into bed behind Frank. The younger man sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer to Gerard. Gerard smiled and wrapped his arms around the warm body beside him. He was asleep almost instantly, feeling that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay from here.


	19. Epilogue

The next day, Frank awoke with a face full of bright read hair. 

Remembering the events of last night, he pulled Gerard closer to him, desperately wanting to hold on forever.

Gerard woke up with a grunt. "I like breathing, Frank."

"Sorry." Frank loosened his hold a little but didn't let go. 

Gerard wriggled around to face Frank. His lazy smile was enough to reassure Frank of... He didn't even know what. He smiled and pressed his face into Gerard's neck.

After half an hour of lying in bed, taking pleasure simply in each other's company, they got up and walked downstairs together.

When they reached the kitchen, Frank froze upon seeing the ring lying on the floor where he had left it.

Gerard felt Frank stiffen beside him and followed his gaze to the metal band lying on the floor. Instantly a knot of guilt settled in his stomach.

"Frank..." 

"Don't, please." Frank crossed the room, bent down and picked the ring up. He played with it between his fingers for a few moments before moving over to the dustbin. He raised his arm as though to throw the ring.

"Wait!" Gerard called. Frank looked up. "What I wanted to say... What I meant to say... I will marry you." He looked shy for a moment. "That's... That's if the offers still on..."

Frank's eyes widened and he snatched his hand back from the bin as though he had been burned. "You really mean it?"

Gerard nodded, feeling a lump rising in his throat with emotion.

Frank crossed the room, his eyes sparkling with tears, and wrapped his hand round the back of Gerard's neck.

Gerard leaned down and their mouths met. The kiss was filled with emotion, passionate yet tender. Each was trying mutely to show the other how much he meant, and they new it. Words weren't enough. This was the only way to convey emotions, the only way remaining in which feelings were unbridled.

Frank pulled away first and held out his hand. Gerard placed his own on top of it and Frank pushed the ring gently onto his finger.

When he looked up, the tears were just beginning to fall. But Gerard knew that they were tears of joy, not sadness, pain, hurt or anything else he had sent on his boyfriend's no, fiancé's- face in recent weeks.

Frank knew that they weren't free from danger, they weren't safe by a long shot. He knew that they would still be targeted. He knew that there would be difficult times ahead, that was bound to happen in any marriage, a gay one maybe doubly so. But as long as he had Gerard, and Gerard had him, none of that mattered. They were okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a rollercoaster ride!
> 
> I loved writing this, and I'm sure I'll write more frerard in future! If any of you have suggestions for stories, please let me know, I love working from prompts!
> 
> Finally, a massive shout out to anyone who's read this with me as I was writing- sorry for all the cliffhangers! Well no, I'm not really sorry, why else would I put them in?
> 
> Seriously though, you guys are great.
> 
> Stay strong  
> ~Rio


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